Me – a la Forest Gump

I did not have problems getting into school as my father was in Indian Air Force and thus any Kendriya Vidyalaya would have given me admission no matter how stupid I was. However, I was bullied in the school bus. My mother never told me that Life was box of chocolates, but gave me enough number of Rasagollahs.

When I grew up a little bit, some seniors in school caught me and told me to take part in the Shot put contest as they could not find anyone and the house needed some points. They told me to hold the ball and throw it as far as I could and I did that and I won. Seeing this they told me to do the same with a Javelin and again I did the same and again I won. Now they got excited and made me stand near a line and told me to run towards where the balls were hanging when the gun was shot. I did just that and again I won the 100m race.

When I was in Secondary School (Class VI to be precise), some of the seniors saw me playing cricket. As they were unable to convince anyone to be the 12th man and carry the drinks, they included me in the School Team and I served the purpose of carrying the drinks.

In Higher Secondary School, they were planning on staging a play called “Dear Departed” and they needed a person who could play the part of the stupid husband of the aggressive wife. As they were not able to find anyone like this, they choose me and I fully fitted the role because not only I looked stupid, I was a English speaking stupid.

This continued in college as well. Somebody wanted to become a Class Representative and was not sure because of the opposition and thought that I could get some votes as I looked stupid and so entered my name in the election at the last moment without me knowing anything about the process. I gave my speech on the election day and voted for the guy who entered my name in the election. I got some 5 votes and this guy won the election by some 2 or 3 votes.

Now, came a time when I had to find a job and start earning and I positively did not have any idea about what to do. So, someone told me to learn programming and I did that and then told me to just keep writing programs and again I did that and I just kept doing that. In the process, I came across some people who were Engineers for generations and they taught me a few more programming tricks and I kept writing programs – day and night. One girl saw me in this act for some days and thought I was interesting and married me. However, I kept programming and she was okay with this. I did learn to love and produced 2 children.

Now, all my friends started going to America, and I was sent to Thailand. There I came across my Bubble who would keep speaking to me about ambitions of becoming a CEO and kept blubbering about management. I would understand very little. However, I kept listening as I did not want to break his heart. In Thailand, I came across my biggest project in life and I just kept programming and in the end, the project was a huge success and I was well-recognized and rewarded. So, I returned from Thailand.

Now, since I was such a success, I could no longer get jobs for programming. So, I started to recall my chats with my Bubble and all of a sudden from heaven came an opportunity when someone made me a manager. Now, I was not trained for this and thus used my only guide and that was blubbering of my Bubble. However, people found them somewhat useful and gave me some opportunities for more programming. However, then my boss told me that I was too expensive for being paid for a manager when I was also programming. Again from heaven came an opportunity, where someone told me to manage to program a few people and that is what I am presently doing.

My superior has not bought any shares in Apple for me. However, I have made some money. I now look to completing this present assignment in the next 4-5 years and then look for a University campus where I could cut the grass. My daughters are fortunately smart and do not get bullied in the school bus.

Forest Gump