Project Management

I used to manage projects. As I always worked with good teams, all the projects did well. However, I was always told that I do not run the projects professionally and scientifically. I asked them how did they come to these conclusions. So, they told me that it was very easy as the reports sent during the projects, were not helping the management as essential key words were missing. I asked them for their guidance as to where I could find these essential key words. I was told that I need completing PMP. So, I completed PMP and got a certificate.

After that I was totally confused as till date after completing PMP, I have no need for any of what I studied in PMP, to complete projects. Though I have the PMP certificate, what I actually need is to increase my typing speed.

I am confirmed that for good project management what is required is just knowing how to talk in English (what you talk is not important as anyway nobody listens and just do what they want or just interpret as they want), superb typing skills to write emails (as all needed material to attach will be provided by someone. The PM has no need for even opening them as if need arises, he can call the creator of the document to explain in the meeting. Sensing the mood of meeting, the PM needs laughing or attributing the fault on someone. This decision is made easy if the project involves a vendor because all faults are always due to the vendor. This also keeps the work easy as no hard decisions are required within the organisation) and have a few expensive suits and have a few expensive ties and have (at least) one Mont Blanc Pen (I have 3).

I want to announce to the world that I have these essentials for being a very good Project Manager and I have Omega watches. Also, for project meetings, I wear a shoe made from Ostrich skin.