Carbon – Experiences of Partha Majumdar

Here is a piece of fiction which I can make real.

On being invited for a Tea Party, Deepshree and I went to a friend’s house. The host served Tea and home-made cookies. Deepshree was instantly uncomfortable as she was unsure about having the Cookies as her blood sugar levels are very high. She could control the sugar in the Tea as the sugar was served separately. However, not having at least one cookie could upset the hosts.

Sensing her discomfort, I took one cookie. I took out my measuring tape and measured the diameter and the thickness of the cookie. I then broke this cookie in 2 halves. Doing so gave a sense of the approximate density of the cookie. From my knowledge of cookies, I could approximate the amount of baking soda mixed with the dough and gave a sense of sugar used. I took it for granted that the other ingredients like flour, salt, butter, etc, was mixed as per standard measures. I then had a bite of the cookie. I got a sense of the fluffiness of the cookie and the sweetness of the cookie. (I did all this drama as it would have been very impolite to ask the hostess for the measures of each ingredients in grams and millilitres).

I then opened the Wolframalpha website on my iPad. Gathering the figures, I focused on calculating the number of Carbon atoms in each Cookie. This required only skills of addition and multiplication. Thus, it was well within my abilities to do to perfection.

Now, the Carbon atoms from the Cookie when subjected to the sips of Tea (which was at a higher temperature) would make Carbon bonds to break; apart from the impact of the saliva which would also break the Carbon bonds. The free Carbon+ ions would then look to re-bond to form a molecule; which was what Deepshree was worried about. If Carbon+ ions could be made to bond with Oxygen atoms, then I could release the Carbon di-Oxide from Deepshree’s body lowering the impact of the Cookie.

Now, the Carbon+ ions generally react with Hydrogen much more quickly as Hydrogen is such a flimsy character; and this is the main instrument for so many organic matter. To make the Carbon+ ion to bond with Oxygen would need a slightly higher amount of energy. This added energy could be got from the heat of the Tea. Giving too much energy would be counterproductive as other proteins chains and enzymes would break in excess and cause a lot more complications. So, the Tea had to be sipped at the right temperature.

Again, I used my knowledge of addition and multiplication. I calculated the temperature at which the Tea should be sipped for release of largest amount of Carbon-di-Oxide for the given Cookie to eat. Having done my arithmetic, I took out my digital thermometer and dipped it in Deepshree’s Cup of Tea. The reading showed 67 Degree Centigrade. I needed bringing it down to 45 Degree Centigrade.

So, I ate one Cookie and praised the hostess for the same. Then, I discussed the Cookie for 1 minute. After that I dipped the Thermometer in Deepshree’s Cup of Tea. The reading was 66 Degree Centigrade. I quickly calculated that I would need 21 Cookies for this exercise. The plate had 8 Cookies. I had to leave 1 Cookie for Deepshree. So, I had the luxury of 7 Cookies to eat. That meant talking nonsense 7 times for 3 minutes each (You see I am so skilled in Arithmetic).

As I had no other option, I just used my usual skill of talking nonsense and my skills of reading the Omega watch and sailed through the situation. 30 minutes after being served Tea and Cookies, Deepshree ultimately sipped the Tea and bit the last Cookie.