Management – Experiences of Partha Majumdar

Had a very entertaining conversation with a Lady yesterday. This was very exciting as I had just come out a meeting where I was fully embarrassed in the presence of a vendor.

The Lady said that she was calling from Czech Republic. I checked the number on the iPhone 5 display and was convinced that this could be true. Any call from Europe and America always excites me and here it was a Lady with a sweet voice. She started with requesting a few minutes of my time. I told her that I had just lighted a Machitos and thus had enough time. She gave a big laugh on the Telephone.

Then, she took off explaining that they were a company which connected with all intellectuals to discuss problems in the Telecom Industry. I was now thrilled to be classified as an Intellectual. She then told me that she thought I was an Executive Manager. I confirmed to her that I was an Executive Manager and an Acting Executive Manager. She was also thrilled now. I could feel it on the iPhone 5. She asked me whether I could tell her my problems. I asked her whether she meant problems or issues. She confirmed the she meant problems. I asked her whether she meant problems in Life or Work or both. She again laughed and confirmed that she meant problems at Work. I told her that I would have to disappoint her as I could not discuss my problems at Work without appropriate permission from my management. This was because I had so many problems at Work that if I started discussing them, it could embarrass our Company. This was because I knew nothing about my Work. If it was about problems in my Life, I would opened my heart immediately just like Hanuman. Now, she burst out laughing.

She then started explaining that their firm was organising a 3-day meet in London where they were assimilating all Intellectuals from the Telecom Industry on this Earth where all the Experts could come and discuss all their problems. Before she could proceed further, I cut her out and told her that she needs considering my realities. I told her that for such a cry session she needs contacting my Boss and/or the HR Department in our company. I explained that this was because it was not a matter of whether I had enough to cry about and not about how effectively I could cry. It was all a matter of whether I needed attending such sessions and whether our Company would give the needed funds for attending such cry sessions. All of these decisions lied with my Boss and the HR Department. She told me that Top People from our company attended the sessions in the last year. She also gave me the names of the people who had attended the sessions last year.

I told her that this knowledge did not change anything that I had mentioned earlier. She did not give up. She asked me the name of my Boss. I told her that I cannot tell her that without consulting my Boss. She asked me whether I knew who the CEO of our company was and what was this and that in our company. I assured that I knew most of everything. She told me to name a few designations. I told her that I will do any of this as I needed taking permission from our HR Department to do this.

She then started listing names of Directors and VPs in our company. After reading each name, she would ask whether I knew this gentleman and if this gentleman was my Boss. Each time, I told her I definitely knew the gentleman and he was not my Boss. I never realised that she was so effectively tricking me by playing the game of elimination of possibility. The moment (i.e. after 2 names) I realised this I told her that I was not acceptable to be quizzed about our company as this could have bearing on my appraisal. I was now thinking whether she was from a survey company inducted by our Management to check level of knowledge of the Managers.

She told me that I was so funny. I told her that I was glad to be entertaining her. I told her that my Cigar had burnt a lot already. She told me that she would send me a mail with the details of the program. She insisted that I share this with my Boss with her in the cc. I told her that I will definitely forward it to my Boss after reading the contents of the mail if I felt that my Boss would not hit me back for such an act. She asked for my email address. I started telling her that it was “P for Paris followed by ‘DOT’ as a symbol also used as ‘FULL STOP‘ followed by ‘Majumdar’ ‘M’ as in Mongolia“. Before I could proceed any further, she told me that she knew my email address as she was an Indian and her name was Namrata. I told her to be careful that I used a “J” as in Jazz and not a “Z” as in ZZZZZ. Also, I used “dar” like in Sardar and not “der”. She read my email address and I confirmed that she was so smart.

Before hanging up, she reminded me not to forget forwarding the mail to my Boss. She told me that she would call on Monday to check. As she was not specified which Monday, I am so confused.

Anyway, I came back to my office and started doing some work. In less than half an hour, one mail arrived from Namrata. I read the mail and the attachment. I found no virus in the attachment. The mail stated that I should send all people of our company and to my Boss and reply back confirming this to her and some person called “Mr. Basini”. In total panic, I forwarded the mail to everyone in our department and to my Boss. I then replied to Namrata that I had forwarded her mail as requested and forwarded the mail to my Boss as she had insisted. However, I could not confirm all this to “Mr. Basini” as I had never met anyone by that name and did not find any email address of this gentleman.

I thanked The Almighty for not designing my marriage with Namrata.